Is this...
a dream?
Teko!
You're every bit as cute as I expected!
This is so embarrassing.
What?!
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
This is the only Halloween we get all year. What's the point if you don't cosplay? {## I don't know how I feel about the substitution of 'cosplay' now for just 'being in costume'. people don't care about the roleplay aspect anymore, and it's like it's just replaced the word 'costume' entirely for anything that's from media or the like. tsk, tsk}{speak for yourself re acting}
It's so mysterious.
Everything I see looks like it came straight out of a fairy tale or my imagination, so it almost feels like a dream.
But this isn't a dream, right?
What are you doing?
I'm holding a broom right now!
It really isn't a dream!
Of course not.
It's real, but feels like a dream.
It feels like a dream, but it's real.
Maybe we'll actually fall into a dream at some point without noticing! {## a nice, explicitly undefined time is warranted, else it sounds imminent}
I wouldn't mind doing that with you.
Then let's get right to exploring this magical dreamscape!
Just for today, this is Marine Town Wonderland!
There's so much I wanted to talk to you about
hanashitakatta koto takusan atta no ni
But my mind went blank when I saw your face
kao miru to wasurechau
Every time you peek in to pick me up after school my heart lights up
houkago mukae ni kitekureru no ga ureshikute
I wonder why I so hopelessly feel this way about you
doushite kimi ja nakucha dame na no kana
AMANCHU!
It can't be explained with words
setsumei wa dekinai no
~Advance~
Maybe it's like how we can't live without the sun or sea
taiyou ya mizu ga hitsuyou na no to niteru ki ga suru
Maybe it's like how we can't live without the sun or sea
taiyou ya mizu ga hitsuyou na no to niteru ki ga suru
The days have begun to get shorter now
hi ga mijikaku nattekita ne
Why must they cut off my time with you?
mou chotto issho ni itai no ni
Tomorrow and the day after, and every day forevermore
ashita mo asatte mo sono saki mo zutto
I want to keep walking home together like this
kouyatte kimi to kaeritai
No matter what the weather was, no matter how my day went
donna tenki demo donna kibun demo
The moment you raise your hand to wave goodbye
mata ne to kimi ga te wo furu toki
I feel like it has been a wonderful day
ii hi datta to omoeru kara
About a Halloween Night's Dream
A surprisingly short while ago, {## 'recent' doesn't operate in this capacity'}
I wouldn't have had the courage to participate in an event like this. {## I think this better enough that it outweighs mirroring later on, you may disagree}
Thanks for inviting me, Pikari.
Think nothing of it, and thank you too!
My lovely princess, let us revel in the day's festivities.
I shall be your escort.
Very well.
I am in your hands. {## 'fate' is really like they're gonna go fight a monster or something}
Good, looks like I lost her.
My stupid sister forced me into this costume because all the shops give cosplayers half-off. {## I had to listen to the Japanese for this, I thought it was something like all the costumes were half-off at first / I can't deny that cosplay provides a very handy nominal, though / 'charge half-off' is weird, because 'charge' is negative and 'half-off' positive}
Catch me if you can!
Kokoro-chan?
Pikari-san...
Way! Too! Cute!
No, um...
Pikari, who's this?
Oh, right, you've never actually met before.
This is Kokoro-chan, the girl I told you about.
So it's her...
And this is Teko, my classmate from school.
Nice to meet you.
You too.
Praise be!
There are two beautiful princesses before me!
Please allow your prince a moment to fetch both of you drinks to quench your thirst! {## not how 'respite' works, not -really- how procure works, not how 'quell' works unless intentionally weird. 'quench' is the normal, 'slake' is really uncommon / i wonder if this should be 'thirsts'}{what is slake}
She ran off.
Yeah.
Those girls are so adorable.
You think they're sisters?
This silence... is awkward.
What drinks do you think she'll get us?
Dunno.
As the elder, I have to take the lead in conversation! {## subtle diff. between 'have' and 'need. consider 'must' and 'require', respectively, it's that difference. so alt. 'must'}
Kokoro-chan, you met Pikari at the ocean this summer, didn't you? {## arguable, but better to just dodge the ambiguity}
Pikari told me.
Yes, several times.
Several?
Yes, several.
I also ran into her downtown the other day.
We went to see the sakura foliage.
So it was Kokoro-chan she was with that time.
So... what about you, Teko-san?
Huh?! W-We're in the same class, so I see her basically every day. {## 'nearly' (and also 'almost') are more literal than figurative (cf. 'basically', 'virtually') and this reads as there in truth being days she doesn't see Teko (whether true or not) rather than Teko just hedging her sentence}
Still, going to see the sakura foliage together almost sounds like a date. {## not two sentences, but one sentence with ellipsis looks like 'still going' and not 'still, going', since the comma's overridden}
Oh, well...
Yes.
Huh?
What's that?
She didn't deny it was a... d-date. {## it's so weird seeing mid-sentence stutter like that}
I've gone to see the sakura boulevard with Pikari before too. {she's jelly as fuck}{## wow, this is actually correct usage of 'jealous' for once, good job}
They sure were beautiful in full bloom. {## 'seeing them ... was beautiful' is no, because that means the -experience- was beautiful}
Sorry for the wait!
Extend your hands, princesses.
Let's go, Pikari.
I... might be lost. {## when did this turn into a harem}
What's with their unreasonable cuteness?
Huh?
Advisor Cha?
Pikari?
What the... {## even 'What the...'. 'the?' just looks so gross}
Mato-chan-sensei.
So you're the one who brought him.
What? No, I came here alone to drink some beer.
Cold beer!
Huh? Then why...
Don't ask me. In any case, looks like the whole Diving Club is here now. {## it needs this, else it sounds planned}
The whole club?
Entry
Trick or Treat
Ane-chan-senpai and Otouto-kun-senpai?
Well, well.
Wait, should I say Octo-chan-senpai and Octo-kun-senpai?
You don't have to correct yourself.
Are you here for the Halloween parade too?
Nope, for work. {## '[we're here] for work'}
Between the camp and everything else, money's running pretty tight. {## unclear what was running tight before / what is she even referring to? the navigation lesson episode?}
These costumes are for work! Aren't they cool?
A man of the sea! {## is not talking to her}
Man?
What kind of job is it?
We're supposed to host and promote an event...
What kind?
Oh, are you interested?
It's going to start soon.
Trick or Treat
Costumes
required
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Anyone can participate if they're in costume, and it's a simple borrowing race. {while scavenger hunt is a real term, the difference is that you must borrow something from a person, you can't just buy or find it}{## well, alright}
Upyo, that sounds like a blast!
Unfortunately, not a single person has signed up.
Honestly, don't they want the big prize?
Big prize?
What's that? {## 'What is the big prize' v. 'What's a "big prize"?'}
The big prize... is right over here!
It's too big!
I cannot deny the theory that it's the prize itself keeping people away.
That's definitely a fact.
An octopus... So cool... {## octolips at it again}
We might not have any choice but to add an extra prize.
That's true.
An extra prize...
Like a shoulder massage?
Or a belly beating!
Maybe a handshake? {## what}
A celebratory song?
A caricature?
A fortune-telling? {## correct}
Getting to pet Advisor Cha?
Being suckled on by Ohime? {## alt. 'licked', 'sucked on by' / less than ideal, but 'suckled by Ohime' means primarily that -Ohime- is the one providing milk}
A kiss from the prince!
I want a kiss from the prince.
If you would be so kind as to enter, my princess, then as your prince...
Entry
I would gladly offer my lips.
I'll do it! I'm gonna get the prince's kiss! {## same one}
Mommy, the prince is gonna kiss me! {if my tiny daughter yelled this at me, I'd get worried}
Pikari!
This is getting out of control! {## Hanamaru, you've... really let yourself go}
lining up
If you would like to participate, please take one card and put it in the box!
Ane-chan-senpai!
What now?!
Tekochin?
You needn't worry.
I shall protect Pikari's lips. {## k-kakkoii}
AMANCHU!
~Advance~
We will now begin the Borrowing Trick-or-Treating! {when used as a noun, it has hyphens. when used as a phrase, it doesn't}{## that's not what MWebs says, but anyway the nominal is the gerundive (see: Cambridge)}
Would all participants please gather at the start line?
The rules are simple!
This is a borrowing race limited to the surrounding area.
All you need to do is make one complete lap around the venue counterclockwise.
Beer garden
The item cards picked earlier have been placed face-down randomly on that table. {## 'you' sounds like it's attached to the original person, which isn't (?) the case}
Beer garden
The first card you pick will list your item.
As you go around, you'll have to ask bystanders "Give me whatever, or I'll play a trick on you!"
Moreover, you are forbidden from telling others that this is for a borrowing race.
Beer garden
You are also forbidden from leaving the venue. {## he repeats it, so why not?}
Special
Prize!
Pikari, wait for me!
One, two. One, two.
You're playing too, Kokoro-chan?
Well, I am in costume and everything. I figured I might as well.
I can't lose!
Okay, is everybody ready? {## I know you don't like 'Okay, everyone, are you all ready?' but ditching the first comma is incorrect}{wrong}
On your marks...
Get set...
And! {## I feel like you could just leave this one out}
Go!
Best of luck.
Leading the pack are the generic gods. {## 'universal' is weird. alt. nondescript, etc. stuff like that, what does 'universal' even mean?}
But wait! Someone's broken through to the front!
Clad in a crimson dress, it's the flowering red rose! {## 'donned' doesn't work this way. 'donning a ...', but suggests that that action just happened}
Special
Prize!
Teko's so fast!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
But hot on her tail is the blooming white lily of the valley! {## ugh. 'floral' is a -really- bad descriptor for a flower; even 'flowery' is better, but I'll leave this to you}
Special
Prize!
Kokoro-chan is too!
Settle down.
The two dazzling flowers are leading the way! {## this isn't how you use 'blazing', that's for -making- (precisely, -marking-) paths}
What's this?! A monkey has just leapt ahead!
Victory is mine!
All right! {## just for mine mine}
Lipstick
L-Lipstick... Any women around here?
It's do or die! {## jaja-n, for similar reasons when it's an actual verb (see 'kill or be killed') and not a modifier, no hyphens. see: Tennyson: 'theirs but to do and die', like that}
Trick or lipstick! {because trick or lipstick just doesn't flow as well}{## are you even trying? / but it's impossible to force this for the rest}
Pervert! {## alt. 'a pervert', I don't like full sentences with these, I'm sure you know}
I do and died! {## though like, this isn't great either / 'done for'? meaning's different}
Old man beard
Handkerchief
Old man beard
Handkerchief
Old man beard
Handkerchief
Old man beard
Handkerchief
B-Beard?
See ya!
Oh no, there's no time to hesitate!
Get away, you degenerate!
L-Lipstick...
Thanks.
A beard!
How could I possibly ask for his beard?!
Easy-peasy! Everyone has a handkerchief! {##Japanesey}
Cha! Ohime!
Hey!
Give me a handkerchief, or I'll play a trick on you!
And if I don't give you a handkerchief, what kind of trick will you play? {## yabai}
A topknot...
Give me your hat, or I'll play a trick on you!
What?
H-A-T!
R-A-G? {this can honestly be anything as long as the first and last letters change, but since he replys "broom" this is sort of close}{## this is weird as FUCK, when I look at his mouth moving I hear 'hobuki' plain as day, but when I'm looking away I hear 'houki'. It's because his mouth closes when it shouldn't}
Give me some gloves, or I'll play a trick on you!
You need gloves?
Sure thing. I was just about to start knitting a pair.
Huh?!
Um, well... Sorry about this.
Give me your bandages, or I'll play a trick on you!
Currently, the goal area is completely silent. {## 'is now' depicts change of state from just earlier}
It seems that everyone's having a tough time.
Oh? Katori-sensei, fancy meeting you here. {## I didn't know you'd be here is..., mm, implies an odd expectation}
Towano-sensei!
It seems that wherever there's beer, there you are.
Right back at you.
Drinking at home is all well and good, but spending time out and about at a lively event is nice too.
I feel you.
And wouldn't you know it, I get to enjoy watching my students have a good time too.
Looks like they're having fun.
Watching them brings back memories.
Of things I left behind long ago.
Just kidding!
Right!
That first try was a mistake, but a lady should be fine! {## 'daijoubu' as in 'not a creep' not 'has a handkerchief', since it's the same joke}
Hey!
Give me a handkerchief, or I'll play a trick on you!
My goodness!
What kind of trick are you going to play?
Please play a trick on me! {totally an okama's voice}{## that's a great scream}
Give me a handkerchief, or I'll play a trick on you!
A trick? Bring it on! {## why did she think this dude would have a handkerchief / there's only one place to store it}
What is this feeling?
It's like I'm being followed.
I have to be brave! {## yeah I don't think this needs to match}
If I don't, then Pikari...
Okay, here I go!
Um, I'm so sorry!
I-If you don't give me your beard, I might have to play a trick on you!
What? My beard?
Sure thing, I don't mind.
I-I don't... need... that much...
This is actually just a fake beard.
Th-Thank you very much.
Now I can save Pikari!
None of the participants seem to be coming back.
Oh, Ohime! I've been looking everywhere for you.
Principal?!
Good afternoon, teachers.
Huh? Is Ohime here alone?
Yeah, but Advisor Cha should soon be... oh?
Here she comes!
It's her!
The flowering red rose who started strong! {}
Teko!
Will it be a breakaway finish?
What is this sensation?
It's the same as earlier.
It feels like a dream, but it's real.
Right now, I'm no longer Ooki Futaba.
Special
Prize!
No, I am the hero that will save Pikari! {## oh this is a weird one}
Special
Prize!
Hold on! Everyone, please direct your attention over there!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
The blooming white lily of the valley has a slight lead!
Which of the two flowers will break the line first?!
Look out!
Special
Prize!
Special
Prize!
F—
Finish!
They arrived at the same time!
What an emotional and dramatic ending! {}{## oh man, he got im}
Finally found you! Let's head home.
I'd like to extend a warm thank-you to everyone who participated in the event! {## nominalizzzzzzation / correct, I checked, so don't go reverting these}
So in the end, where does that leave me? {she's not aware she's in teko's arms}
We both earned it.
Right...
You can have the stuffed animal, Kokoro-chan. {## 'keep' implies already had}
Huh? Are you sure?
Yep.
In that case...
Are you giving me Pikari-san's extra prize too?
Teko.
Thank you!
You're mine now!
Kokoro-chan.
Thanks.
Princess, I welcome you back. {## handing em out willy-nilly... it dilutes the prize}{she tied too}
Kokoro-chan.
I'm only giving up Maririn, okay? {}{## are they just expecting me to guess that Maririn's the taco?}
See you again...
Huh?
Teko! Do you think it happened?
Did we somehow wander into a dream?
I knew it!
Trick or treat!
But seriously, you were so gallant out there running your hardest.
Oh, please! I was just trying to protect you. {## wow, what a progressive inversion of traditional gender roles}
I know, and you did.
You're like my prince! {## whoops, scratch that, nevermind}
Princess, would you grant this prince a dance?
With pleasure.
Hey...
Tekochin, Pikari!
Are you two okay?
Huh?
What about the ball?
I can't have you dozing off on me.
In recognition of your efforts, I rented out this spa just for us.
It cost a pretty penny, too! {}{## 'and ... too'}
Oh, right.
Geez, and here I thought you'd overheated.
Hey, hey, Teko! We were sharing that dream just now, weren't we? {## I mean if anything the first comma here's something you could kill, but you know definitely not the second, right?}
Yeah! We were! {## agreement to previous sentence, this isn't a new statement}
I knew it!
Yep, they overheated. {## 've or 're are actually both admissible, but in this case not necessary (necessary earlier though)}
It's true!
After all, Teko's a professional dreamer!
I even leveled up recently!
Oh? Then why don't you try telling me all about that dream.
Okay, so I was a princess, and Teko was a prince.
I'm embarrassed to say more!
It feels like a dream, but it's real.
Me too!
The town full of imaginary creatures,
the mermaid, and the Dragon Palace were all like dreams, but they were real.
The land of fairy tales and the real world overlapped, like they did when I was a child.
I realized something while I was wrapped in that nostalgic feeling, sweet like candy.
That dreams are always right next to reality. {## dear, I hope not. I'm gonna get killed}
I wonder when it happened.
When I stopped seeing mysteries as mysterious. {## 'when it was / the day that' or 'when it happened / when I stopped' for consistent referent}
I wonder why...
I left that behind. {I know exactly what she left, but it has to be ambiguous for now}{## manga readers get out of my thread, no spoilerino}
Hello, hello, hello!
Close your eyes and imagine what you'll be like when you're older
souzou shitemirunda itsuka toshi wo totta toki
What things will you look back on fondly?
donna koto wo natsukashiku omou no darou
Maybe your mother's favorite phrase
haha no kuchiguse to ka
Maybe the first time you ever flipped over a gym bar
hajimete sakaagari dekita koto
Or perhaps it'll be something even more trivial
soretomo motto doudemo ii koto kana
Hello, hello, hello!
I was waving to my future self
mirai e te wo furimashita
Hello, hello, hello!
Hearing it brings a smile to my face
kikoetara hohoende
Hello, hello, hello!
This is where I used to spend my days
watashi wa koko ni imashita
Hello, hello, hello!
Crying and laughing along the way
naitari warattari shinagara
The night before the Yumegaoka High School Festival. {## 'Campus Festival'? well, whatever / maybe 'school's pulling double duty}
That night, the flow of time is special and a little bit different. {## 'it' sounds like the festival itself}
Next time on Amanchu Advance!
About the Eternal School Festival.
About the Eternal School Festival
Is this a dream? {## hey, no! no romance allowed, stop}{someone doesn't know about Alka}